Heraldists want penis reinstated on military badge

Sweden’s chief heraldists remain dissatisfied with a decision by the Nordic Battlegroup to remove a lion’s penis depicted on its coat of arms.

But staff at the National Archives are hopeful that the Nordic Battlegroup will reconsider its position and re-erect the lion’s member on its insignia.

“They stepped over the line when they made alterations to the badge without consulting us. It was a clear breach of copyright,” said state heraldist Henrik Klackenberg.

Although the heraldry unit is unlikely to take any legal action, Klackenberg said he would appreciate an apology from the Armed Forces.

“We could make the dimensions a bit smaller, for example. Once we were commissioned to create a similar symbol for Swedish Customs. When they thought it was a bit much they sent it back to us and we just shrank the organ,” said Klackenberg.

Though clearly irritated by the army’s attack on the lion’s virility, Sweden’s state heraldist admitted he was fascinated by the story’s global appeal.

The Nordic Battlegroup is one of eighteen such military groups in the European Union. Some 2,000 of its 2,400 soldiers come from Sweden, with the rest coming from Finland, Norway, Ireland and Estonia.